My Rules

It’s Saturday morning, it’s raining outside and the flat desperately needs cleaning (there’s an unrecognisable smell which is in just about every room now) so it must be time to start a new blog. I’ve been thinking about doing this for ages, and a couple of recent developments have persuaded me that now’s the time.

I’ve done this before, written a few posts just to get started and then abandoned it, but this time I’m going to persevere. To help me with that, here’s a few first thoughts to sum up what I’m going to try and do:


1. I will write like I’m talking to a friend.

I’m going to work on the assumption that if you’ve ended up here and you’re reading, it’s because you’re interested in what I’ve got to say. I don’t imagine for a minute that you’re going to agree with everything that comes out of my keyboard, that would make life very dull indeed, but because we’re friends, I’ll respect your opinions.

2. I will not compartmentalise my life and write selectively about it.

I am a real person with a family, friends, hobbies, a job and a past (and hopefully a future, fingers crossed). All of those things influence how I think and feel about stuff the happens in my immediate surroundings and in the world in general. When I’ve started blogs before I’ve tried to separate off these things, tried to write about them in neat little packages that don’t interfere with each other. It didn’t work. The only way this is going to be fun for all of us is if I chuck it all out there. With a bit of luck I’ve learned enough lessons by now to do that without hurting anyone else or myself. That links in with…

3. I’m going to be honest, but I will be constructive.

Part of not compartmentalising means I’m going to occasionally write about real people who might read this. One of the lessons I’ve learned the hard way is not to write anything you wouldn’t have the courage to say to someone’s face. Let me get over a few taboos straight away by saying:

  • I watch gymnastics on TV and criticise (and steal jokes from Victoria Wood) even though I’ve never been anywhere near a parallel bar and my school PE report said I had difficulty with forward rolls.
  • I sometimes have unrealistic expectations of others (and myself)
  • My oldest brother is late for nearly everything and has been since birth. I said this in my best man’s speech at his wedding and everyone laughed knowingly, so even he must realise it’s true.
  • The younger of my two older brothers and I spent much of my teenage years ganging up on the oldest brother. Sometimes it must have felt a bit like bullying. I’m not proud of it. Sometimes we still do it. I’m not proud of that either.
  • I have bad days at work.
  • I don’t like everyone I meet.
  • Brass banding is a bit like the Masons and I don’t understand most of what goes on.

4. I will preserve my personal safety.

This probably sounds a bit random when compared to number two but if you stick with it, all will make sense.


That’s it. Onward.